meh

Ignorance is your new best friend... literally :/

Wings of swallow.

Sometimes I wish I could just fly away.

Questions looking for answers.

Where were you three hours ago?
Playing the sims 3

What do you think of your last kiss?
It was a farewell kiss to my boyfriend on a train

Are you wearing socks right now?
Nope, tights!

Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Not in the last five days, but seven days ago i went to see Scott Pilgrim.

What did you see?
Scott Pilgrim, it was good, slightly confusing but alas entertaining.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Orange juice.

What are you wearing right now?
Floral shorts, tights, black cami and a grey cardigan.

What was your last purchase?
A lottery ticket. - Oh the irony.

If you could be anywhere, where would you be?
In life, no idea.

Are you on the phone?
No but i do have my phone beside me.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Noo, i'm all outta money.

Do you have a pet(s)?
yes a 14 year old heartbroken cat called Fudge.

What's your mood right now?
Confused, so so confused.

What did you do last night?
Played the sims, read, listened to music and went to sleep.

What is the last thing you purchased online?
Headphones.

What’s your favourite soup?
Tomato- it's plain and simple.

You miss anyone?
Yeah, i miss alot of people.

Last movie you saw?
Scott Pilgrim

What are your plans for the day?
To crack on with school work!

Did you have fun today?
Yeh it was fun, i went shopping and for a meal with my boy.

Who is your last text message from?
James..

What do you know about the future?

Nothing, i have no idea where my futures going to take me, but that's part of the journey right?

The last person you rode in a car with?
Mumma.

Do you have a tan?
Nope, some people say that i'm so pale i look ill.

How old do you want to be when you have kids?
I don't want to set an age, i just want it to be 'my right time'.

Did you meet anyone new today?
Nopies.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
I have my ears pierced twice, and i'm planning to get a peace sign tattooed on my body when i turn 18 next july.

How do you like your soda?
It depends what soda it is, nothing tastes the same.

Like hot sauces?
Yes, yes i do.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Hmm school work, which i have to email to my teachers before the end of summer..

What day is tomorrow?
Thursday.

Who was the last person to call you hun?

No one..

Why?
Because no one calls me 'hun'

Do you have a crush on anyone right now?
Yes, my boyfriend.

If you could be on a TV show, which one would it be?
I can't remember the name but the one where you find out your family history, that really would fascinate me.

Have you ever watched a movie and just “had” to do what they did?
Not that i know of, i'm not really the 'follower' type.

Do you have a “face” you make in the mirror?
Not that i'm aware of, i usually just look at my reflection with a blank expression..

Ever use someone else’s toothbrush?
Urgh, no.

Can you whistle?
I love to whistle.

Is there a song that comes on that you just “have” to turn up and sing to?
No, my musics loud enough as it is.

Who are you thinking about right now?
Everyone, no one........ I love my family.

Do you still talk to the person you had a thing for summer 09?

Yes because i'm still with that person.

Who makes you happy?
It's hard to say now'a days. But usually my parents, sister, boyfriend and cat.

What are you listening to now?
Remembering sunday -All Time Low.

Are you afraid of the dentist?
Yes. afraid isn't even the word.

Do you open your eyes under water?
No, it hurts my eyes after :')

Are you organised?
Definitely not, i usually expect things to fall in my lap. Oh how ridiculous i am..

What do you do to relax before you fall asleep?
Listen to music <3

Where is your biological father right now?
In bed. Sleeping. Where i should be.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed?
I am? What a silly question.

What’s currently bothering you?
To many things to complain to the internet about..

What’s annoying you?
Seriously, these questions are so repetitive. But alas like i said before 'To many things to complain to the internet about..'

What if your parents told you that you were moving to England, right now?
I live in england, so the commute wouldn't be long i guess.

Do you have a friend dating someone you don’t like?
No, if my friends are happy, i'm happy, it's their lives and their choices, i'm not going to jump to judgements about people.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
8?

Who last got you upset?
I would rather not talk about it..

Last person to hear you cry?
My head of year and head teacher, i was upset about a completely unrelated topic but oh well.

Do you make smart decisions?
Arguably no.

Who is someone that can always make you laugh?
My uncle, he tells me old and inappropriate jokes, they never fail to amuse me.

What were you doing at 10am this morning?
Cleaning my bedroom.

What were you doing an hour ago?
Un following people off twitter.

Where were you at 1am this morning?
Browsing the internet.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were bipolar?
Not yet, no.

What’s one thing in your life that you wish you could change?
Please don't ask me these questions, they make me think about life and i really really hate thinking about life. :)

Your boyfriend/ girlfriend isn’t around but their phone is, do you look through?
My boyfriends phone never leaves his phone...

When is the next time you will kiss someone?
When i next see james probably,

Do you smoke weed everyday?
No, i hate drugs with a passion, they're for boring, emotionless people. Enjoy.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
My cat i think.. I'm that cool.

What woke you up this morning?
Mother asking me to clean my room before the carpet fitter guy comes.

What do you currently hear?
Mother typing on her work laptop, oh the pitty, i wish mumma didn't have to work.

Where is your bestfriend?
In bed probably;

What is your favourite colour?
Blue.

Where did you first see the last person you kissed?
At a party.

What are your favourite bands?
Mystery jets, you me at six, foals, klaxons..

Where were you at 4:02 this morning?
In bed, sleeping.

Did you have a good birthday this year?
Yeh when i finished school it was good. To put things short, my friends forgot about my birthday.

Are you afraid of the future?
Yes and no, i want to be seventeen forever but i want to clear my head.

When is the last time you told your parents you loved them?
I can't remember, i used to say it every night, it's a bad habit i have fallen out of sync with :(

When’s the last time you sent a text?
About 2:10 - no reply :/

Has a boy ever given you jewellery?
Yes, my boyfriend brought me a bracelet for my sixteenth birthday, a Tiffany and co necklace for my seventeenth, and two bracelets when he went away on holiday.

Is there anything hot pink within five feet of you?

Noooo.

Do you and your friends ever make up ‘code names’ for people?
Yes, yes, yes. We love being immature.

Have you ever burned a photo of you and a person you were angry with?
Nope, i rip them up though, burning them is a good idea however, i might take that tip.

Worst punishment you’ve ever had?
Being grounded i guess, i'm not really a bad kid so i've never done anything too drastic to get me in trouble really.

Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth?
Who hasn't?

Does the thought of having children scare you?
Well yes, i can't even look after myself.

Do you wake up cranky?
Every morning i wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

Are there any stressful situations in your life?
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Something tragic just happened, does your facial expression show it?
Yeah, my chin usually goes all wobbly and i usually burst out crying. I'm like that.

If you were stranded on an island and you could only take one item with you, what would it be?
A boat.

What is the closest sharp object to you?

My cats claws.

What is the last video game you played?
The sims 3 durrrh.

Do you think that crying is a form of weakness?
Never, people cry for a reason, letting out your emotions isn't a form of weakness but a form of strength.

Today, did you see anyone that made you smile?

Yes, my boyfriend :)

When’s the last time you fell asleep watching a movie?
I can't remember to be honest.

Do you own anything that’s tie-dyed?
No, but it's crawling out of fashion at the moment.

What’s on your mind?
School, James, the summer, events, emotions, stress, peace, love.

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes, i hate ANY type of theft. Seriously, you wouldn't want anyone to steal from you right? Don't do the same bitches.

Do you take compliments well?
Not really, no, they embarrass me.

Are you continuing your education?
Yes well, i'm currently at sixth form but no further then that. University isn't the place my heart or head fits.

When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Never?

When was the last time you were at Church?
Hmm, so long ago i can't remember. But hey ho, just cause you go to church it doesn't mean you're religious.

Was your mum a cheerleader?
Mummas not the type, and this is england.

Do you think it makes him weak if a guy cries?
Not at all.

Does anyone know your password beside you?
My boyfriend.

Has anyone ever been obsessed with you?
I've had my fair share of stalkers..

When was the last time you shaved your legs?
Monday. so two days ago?

Are you anything like your siblings?
Nothing, we are different on so many levels. We look similar, but our personalities couldn't clash any more, nonetheless i still love her <3

Have you ever received an injury from a hook up?
I don't 'hook up'

Keep holding on.

Admittedly times are getting really tough at the moment. Admittedly i can't promise you that i'll keep strong throughout it. With the pressure of exams around the corner, it doesn't help when people from all angles start picking on you either.

A couple of days ago i made the ultimate decision to not carry on with uni, but it's not the end of the world is it? Its just another path which i've decided to take in life. The unpopular option, the different option and that's why i like it. The idea of earning money and working up the ladder appeals to me, i just wish the ideology works.

I need you like the desert needs the rain

Death. No matter how much we all try to avoid it, it eventually sneaks up on us at one point in our lives. Whether it's a beloved pet, family member, partner or even a friend its something we can't avoid.

Unfortunately i have experienced death amongst people whom i really cared about but i also think about them more then i would if they were alive, i know that sounds like a bad thing to say but it's true.

Sometimes i can't bear to think about what would happen if anyone close to me died, it's the most horrid feeling in the world but yet, I'll have to one day.

Just appreciate everyone more then you should, then you'll really know that you've made an impact on their life. The smaller things like university & exams are truly insignificant compared the ones you love being taken away from you. Life is irreplaceable so appreciate it. ♥

It takes a turn and then it hurts more than you could dream of.

Something I feel really passionate about is regret.

I cannot express how much it annoys me when people say they regret something when it goes bad.

The more infuriating thing is they don't regret it at all when they're doing it or a little time after its happened.

I don't really feel like going into detail about why I feel this way, and I don't want to be asked why either because it's a long & complicated process so instead I'll discuss my weekend arrangements.

So Saturday, yesterday, I was invited over my boyfriend's house. It was cool. The Langton's are a really nice family they have been since the first day i met them :) But anyway, yeah Saturday was good i browsed James' entire itunes contents, wow he calls me the one with the bad music taste haha. After 'Playing the sims' we tucked into a lush tasting Indian meal and sat down watching the titanic, it got me thinking about death and loss. But if you take away the death and loss, wow what a perfect Saturday ♥

Dulce bellum inexpertis.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice some of the most important things in our lives, however the term 'self-sacrifice' is not always justified.

'dulce bellum inexpertis'- 'War is sweet to those who have never fought'; i completely agree with this phrase on so many levels. War is something watched by somebody like you and i. However, the sacrifice of both men and women today and especially of those in the past, reflects an incredible world we're all linked and associated with today. But admittedly we still have to question whether a ridiculous lost war like Iraq & Afghanistan justifies the lives of those lost for a broken society like the one we live in now.

The total number of people killed in WW1 was 16.5 million

The total number of people killed in WW2 was estimated between 50-70 million people.

All the lives lost throughout these wars were in aid of the future generations to come, generations like ours. Personally i feel that we don't always live life as full as we should. Men and women fought for our independence and to not take advantage of it is truly disappointing, instead we chose to follow the actions and rules of others, but if rules were always followed we would never have truly inspirational people like Martian Luther King who fought for what he believed in, all that fighting paid off.

I didn't intend this blog entry to be a history lesson, however i did want to create the feeling of self-realisation. Don't stop doing something you love because it's seen as 'un-cool', don't be afraid to voice your opinion because you're scared others might laugh at you or poke jokes. No, instead think of the freedom you have, the freedom that was fought by men and women (some of my age, 16 years) who died for you, those men and woman who weren't scared to voice what they thought in hope of achieving their goals, aspirations & dreams.

Belief makes things real, makes things feel alive. :) ♥