I need you like the desert needs the rain

Death. No matter how much we all try to avoid it, it eventually sneaks up on us at one point in our lives. Whether it's a beloved pet, family member, partner or even a friend its something we can't avoid.

Unfortunately i have experienced death amongst people whom i really cared about but i also think about them more then i would if they were alive, i know that sounds like a bad thing to say but it's true.

Sometimes i can't bear to think about what would happen if anyone close to me died, it's the most horrid feeling in the world but yet, I'll have to one day.

Just appreciate everyone more then you should, then you'll really know that you've made an impact on their life. The smaller things like university & exams are truly insignificant compared the ones you love being taken away from you. Life is irreplaceable so appreciate it. ♥

It takes a turn and then it hurts more than you could dream of.

Something I feel really passionate about is regret.

I cannot express how much it annoys me when people say they regret something when it goes bad.

The more infuriating thing is they don't regret it at all when they're doing it or a little time after its happened.

I don't really feel like going into detail about why I feel this way, and I don't want to be asked why either because it's a long & complicated process so instead I'll discuss my weekend arrangements.

So Saturday, yesterday, I was invited over my boyfriend's house. It was cool. The Langton's are a really nice family they have been since the first day i met them :) But anyway, yeah Saturday was good i browsed James' entire itunes contents, wow he calls me the one with the bad music taste haha. After 'Playing the sims' we tucked into a lush tasting Indian meal and sat down watching the titanic, it got me thinking about death and loss. But if you take away the death and loss, wow what a perfect Saturday ♥

Dulce bellum inexpertis.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice some of the most important things in our lives, however the term 'self-sacrifice' is not always justified.

'dulce bellum inexpertis'- 'War is sweet to those who have never fought'; i completely agree with this phrase on so many levels. War is something watched by somebody like you and i. However, the sacrifice of both men and women today and especially of those in the past, reflects an incredible world we're all linked and associated with today. But admittedly we still have to question whether a ridiculous lost war like Iraq & Afghanistan justifies the lives of those lost for a broken society like the one we live in now.

The total number of people killed in WW1 was 16.5 million

The total number of people killed in WW2 was estimated between 50-70 million people.

All the lives lost throughout these wars were in aid of the future generations to come, generations like ours. Personally i feel that we don't always live life as full as we should. Men and women fought for our independence and to not take advantage of it is truly disappointing, instead we chose to follow the actions and rules of others, but if rules were always followed we would never have truly inspirational people like Martian Luther King who fought for what he believed in, all that fighting paid off.

I didn't intend this blog entry to be a history lesson, however i did want to create the feeling of self-realisation. Don't stop doing something you love because it's seen as 'un-cool', don't be afraid to voice your opinion because you're scared others might laugh at you or poke jokes. No, instead think of the freedom you have, the freedom that was fought by men and women (some of my age, 16 years) who died for you, those men and woman who weren't scared to voice what they thought in hope of achieving their goals, aspirations & dreams.

Belief makes things real, makes things feel alive. :) ♥

Two is better then one.

My life has many different aspects, covered in millions of layers, but one really important person in my life has to be my boyfriend James Stephen Langton.

Although 'teenage love' is completely stereotypical, most end with heart break, and some just ends, however nothing ever has to end if you really don't want it too. Nothing. So I wouldn't describe what we have as 'teenage love', love is limitless, no one can put a limit on the things you care most about.

James & I have been together for nearly ten months now, and wow doesn't time pass by quickly.

The past ten months were also probably some of the most important months in my life, studying for GCSE'S, receiving GCSE results, choosing A-level courses, all these decisions and actions changed where i am today. However, James has been like a rock to me, he's always made me come to my sences, do the right thing, and relax, just enjoy life as i should.

One thing that i really am looking forward to is when i take my gap year! I'm going to make it the best year of my life with my beautiful boyfriend :). We're planning on going to Italy, France, Greece & America- an Experiance that will be impossible to forget.

May 29th - present. Wow, how alot of things have changed. Nobody really thought James and I would stay together, a few people actually opposed to it but I'm glad we proved them wrong. Like every couple there have been arguments, which have always been resolved in a matter of hours. However, arguments are always over looked because the good times that we spend together is what we tend to remember most. From calling each other every name under the sun, (heim, bead, lich, nooblich..) to holding hands in a yellow buttercup field and listening to yellow (pathetic fallacy much?), trips to London, and each other's houses.The time we have spent together is truly wonderful & I wouldn't change any of it for the universe. ♥

Take photographs take all your memories,

After recently reminiscing on childhood memories I've decided to tell the world about the life i live, so hopefully when I'm older i can look back and be proud of what achievements i may or may not have made. I guess this is blog number one, starting from scratch, the basics, the stuff which really matters.

My name is Lucy Charlotte Caulfield, but i guess my middle name isn't really too important to anyone who reads this, but to me it's a difference between me and everyone else.

Im currently sixteen years old and studying my AS levels in south east England. Admitidly, A-levels are difficult for anyone but fortunately i enjoy the subjects i'm taking, they are all different on so many levels. Science, English literature, history & psychology. Deep down, history is my real passion as i find it fascinating that the actions of those before us changed the lives we live today. One day, i wish to make my name in the history books. Lucy Charlotte Caulfield.

Realisticly, im a average girl, there is nothing out of the ordinary about me, i have a great set of friends. An odd sort. However, my close friends are all so different to anybody else. Yeah, the photo above is really old but i kinda like it. -2008 to be exact.

When i'm older i want to do something different then what everybody thinks of me, i want to break the boundaries of life. I'm planning on travelling around different parts of the world to see some of the most amazing things that our small planet has to offer with my boyfriend on our gap year :)